Keep your eyes on the horizon - so you don't hurl

My little brother, Louis, is a captain. Not one in the military but one on a boat. Like Gillligan's Island. (Come to think of it, why was there only a skipper? And what exactly is a skipper?) He owns his own sport fishing and whale watching business in Alaska and every day is paid to watch people check another thing off the bucket list. But not every day is picture perfect.

Case in point: One day I was out on his boat and the weather started being uncooperative. The waves whirled us about and before I knew it I hurled myself to the side of the boat and heaved out my breakfast. Then it got ugly.

"Eyes on the horizon!" 

Really Louis? I think I prefer to keep my head over here, thanks. And what kind of f-ed up dream vacation is this, anyway? People pay you to do this?

"Or you can keep chumming the water."

Smart ass. (Chumming is the term to put fish parts near the boat to attract salmon and other fish.) Shocking a brother of mine might be a smart ass, I know. 

But he might have a point. Begrudgingly, I looked up to watch the horizon. The little crapper's advice worked. I didn't feel sick. When I looked back down in front of me, the nausea returned as did the rest of my breakfast.

Eyes on the horizon.

Fast forward to yesterday. I was on a call with a woman who was inviting me to speak at a marketing summit this fall for Fortune 500 companies - their top marketers. "What are you attendees' main interest in this conference?" I asked. She went on and said the top three things were honing digital skills - such as learning what's new with social media, getting followers on facebook, etc.

I had to laugh. It's true about a lot of marketers I've met. Why is that? 

Here's the ugly truth: consumers don't want to be your friend. (There are small exceptions - like Harley-Davidson or Apple.) They aren't going to ask their friends on Facebook to weigh in on a purchase decision. Even Coca-Cola, the most sophisticated user of social media - with the biggest audience engaged - recently came out and said it had zero impact on sales. Zero. Nada. Zilch. Want to know how much they invested in the social media? I'm guessing it's millions.

So why do we look down and only focus on what is right jn front if us vs the bigger picture? It brings me back to that boat. I was looking at the water, counting drops instead of looking at the landscape and creating a rhythm. 

My little brother might be a turd, but he is onto something. 

Fixating on the latest fad without grounding yourself or putting jt in context  going to make you hurl - literally or hypothetically - every time. Having the coolest widget isn't going to make your crappy product better. Look up. Get some context. Or get a bucket - and don't blame me.

Louis' boat (he wasn't manning it this time) and what happens when the engine dies and you don't drop anchor fast enough. Eyes on the horizon, Louis. Either way, this picture makes a hell of a conversation piece.

Don't forget to deadhead your marketing

This might be surprising to some, but I fancy myself as a gardener. Not an overly serious one, but the hobby kind. I love it. You know, grow a few tomatoes, maybe some basil, sugar snap peas and strawberries - and my favorite thing to do is walk around the garden, watching the growth and progress. My second favorite thing to do is strike up a conversation with a neighbor or bring them some baked goods and sigh, "Oh, the strawberry shortcake? It's nothing. I grew them myself, so really, it's not a big deal." (After a few years of doing this, I think they're onto me and are questioning the authenticity of my humility.)

I know, I should work on it. Shut up.

Regardless of my obviously enviable gardening skills, I admit that I'm not above learning something here or there. Last week, my neighbor was leaving for two weeks with her family and I asked her if she wanted to benefit from my clearly superior watering skills. (I only say this because you can't see her yard. It's mind-numbingly awesome.) "Sure," she said, "but what I really need is for them to get dead-headed. It's really important to stimulate new growth."

I knew old ladies spent time in their gardens nipping off dead blooms - but figured it was just because they were unattractive. (The dead blooms. Not the old ladies. Although now that I think about it, some of the old ladies aren't exactly easy on the eyes.) The notion that cutting off what was no longer producing something of value to stimulate new growth is a concept that I think more of us should think about in our efforts as marketers.

Think about it: Just subscribing to a "if it's not broke, don't fix it" mentality isn't enough. You have to know when to say when. When to call it. And cut it off so that new ideas can come to fruition.

Leo Burnett made truckloads of money with his iconic brand characters. Jolly Green Giant, Tony the Tiger, the Marlboro Man, Pillsbury Doughboy were all his creations. And they worked. Today is a different era. People crave authenticity, not cutesy. In the 50s, cute worked. Today - not so much. When Burger King tried to revive the king icon in 2011, it failed. Miserably. Why? Someone didn't know how to deadhead the marketing.

In other words: the only thing worse than a bad idea, is a good idea who's time has come and gone - and the people who don't know when to let it go.

The emperor is still naked.

Last week a group from my work was preparing for a show and over the course of the planning for this show, it was discovered an iPad app I was developing would be a good tool to use in the booth. The problem was the booth was designed around a 70-inch touch screen. The idea was that attendees would  march up to this behemoth and happily engage with it, thereby creating fodder of interest and curiosity for other attendees to crowd around and be secretly jealous that they weren't the one touching the screen - only to go back to their respective groups to proclaim the awesomeness of our booth. It had a 70-inch touch screen! It was sure to be a hit! Right? So we scrambled and flew around and spent lots of money to get an iPad app to work on a larger scale, working to resolve the aspect ratio, resolution and a number of other issues. Who wouldn't have done this? 

::Facepalm::

Let me tell you a secret. The emperor has no clothes.

You know that story... the emperor who gets hoodwinked into purchasing the finest suit made of the finest cloth ever produced - the caveat is that only those who were competent in their roles could see the cloth. So by stating it was invisible basically told the world that you were an idiot.

Hans Christian Andersen - you genius.

How many times have you worked hard on a project that sounds great but the obvious is left unstated? In the beginning scenario, the "emperor having no clothes" is the notion that the tactic that the entire booth was designed around doesn't play to this audience. Physicians are generally reserved people, wanting to come to their own conclusions and observe, learn, and may not feel 100% comfortable being the source of entertainment for their colleagues to admire.

So, why spend the money on developing the special app for the amazing 70-inch screen? 

Good question. 

This is a case where the temptation of doing a sexy execution surpassed common sense. We were asking our customers to put themselves in an uncomfortable situation, thereby reinforcing to them that engagement with our brand isn't going to be comfortable. Not exactly the message we want to tell. And neither is an empty booth with no one engaging with your brand. Especially when it's 70-inches at a small show.

Sometimes the best solutions are not sexy. Are you developing programs and implementing projects that make sense? If you're only doing it because it looks sexy on paper, but aren't thinking about the practicality of it, maybe you should think again. And if those sexy ideas are from your agency, consider this: 

"Beware of butchers who recommend meat and fish mongers who recommend fish."

Don't expect sales to result from social media

I know - digital marketers love it when I bash social media. It's not that it's bad. I participate myself. The issues arise in basic expectation management. Companies are expected to spend upwards of 25% of their marketing budgets on social media in the next few years... because anybody who's anybody knows that social media is THE future. We have to get our strategy figured out. Hire a 18-year-old, determine our twitter handle, get our tumblr page and investigate out reddit strategy.

Easy, tiger. 

While it's clear you need to go digital or go home, what isn't clear is where that road is going... or how it will affect the bottom line. 

Consider this: Coca-Cola, the largest player in the social media space has announced that there's been no sales impact from their social media presence. Your eyes aren't playing tricks: THEY SAW NO INCREASE IN SALES.

And so I ask you, why are marketers involving social media in their strategies? If it's purely a brand play with the sole idea to engage customers with the brand, that might be arguable... but in the last month I've had half a dozen people ask me how to turn off promotional posts in Facebook. Unless you're Harley or Apple that has a dedicated following where people are willing to tattoo your brand identity on their bodies - your consumers don't want to be your friend. They will come to you when they need something. Not hang out at the mall. What it can do is offer a platform to provide better understanding of what your brand stands for - just don't expect it to be a true 2-way conversation. Especially one that will end up in increased sales.

When was the last time you used Facebook to decide what car to buy? You wouldn't. You post pictures of your kids, kitties, or palm trees to make your friends jealous of your vacation - social media is an escape, a platform to preach whatever you feel you want... but you still go to the reputed sources to make informed purchase decisions. 

I'm not saying social media is stupid and shouldn't be included in the mix. Not at all. What I'm saying is you need to understand how it's used and manage your expectations of what it can deliver.

For PR and public affairs it can have legs. The trouble is in how "easy" it is to measure. Or how deceiving it can be. 

For those of us who are interested in doing things that actually affect the bottom line and impact revenue, we might want to think seriously about the fact that social media is... social. In other words, people interacting with people. No one wants to be sold to, but they will buy. If they think it's their idea.

Forcing ideas onto people or being in a space in a way that's not in line with the brand personality is like when your mom started saying "chill out" or "rad." It's wierd. Know your place. Know what it can deliver and always remember your brand attributes.

Other than that, happy posting. Oh, and your kids' pics, inspirational quotes and pictures of your dinner are awesome. I keep forgetting to mention that.

Calling out the bad value prop

One of the biggest surprises I had when coming into corporate-land from the agency side was that so many marketers define seemingly universal things different (or they completely misunderstand what something is). One of my favorite colleagues once protested, "You're too obsessed with the definition of these things!" (This was after I pointed out that he was really talking about a tactic, not a strategy, and his objective had yet to be defined. You know, details.)

Definition or not, there does seem to be a general lack of understanding of what a value proposition is - not to mention what a GOOD value prop is. (Don't even get me started on how people define "brand" - or how some think a good agency can make any video go "viral.") 

Yes, it's a promise of what you have to deliver with a believe from the customer and how it will be experienced. But that can be anything. Too many people start here and end up with a watery sentence that might sound great - but is doomed to fail because it doesn't mean anything to anyone.

If you are in a situation where you're looking at a alleged value prop that is pithy, a tagline, employs alliteration or rhymes, chances are it's not a value prop. 

Want to be smart about them? Here's how:
1. They need to reflect the business strategy and the current situation. Are you looking to retain customers or acquire? Do you have market share? Or are you number 2 and aspiring to be #1? Are you totally in the toilet and need a hail mary?

• Strategies that are simply retaining customers should focus on the bigger brand message, but those who are trying to get new customers, should focus on the benefits and attributes of the products, not as much of the brand. You have to give them logic to believe your value, not just emotional fluff. 
• On the other hand, if they already love you, don't go down the bunny hole of talking features and benefits. Stick to the brand.

2. Are you the market share leader (or aspire to be?) or are you lagging behind?

• If you're the market leader, your job is to defend the category that you lead. Protect the category - protect the brand. 
• You can also re-define the category - or create a new one - so you can "own it."

3. Do you really know who your competition is?

• Knee-jerk reaction is to say the name of a competitor. But in many cases, that's not the competition, not really. Consider McDonald's. Who's their biggest competition? Burger King? Wendy's? Nope. McDonald's original value prop of "friendliness, cleanliness, consistency, convenience" puts them in a bigger category than just fast-food, going head-to-head against Mom (which they don't have a snowball's chance in winning that category). Today's McDonald's still holds these values, but has wisely re-defined their category in the fast-food department, which they've owned. 
• For example: GE sells an amazing hand-held ultrasound device. In thinking about competitors, the instinct is to look to other competitors who have small ultrasound devices that can be used in office to "see" heart rhythms that are traditionally only heard. In this case, though, the biggest competitor is actually the stethescope. That's the behavior we are trying to change, and the thing that's standing in the way of winning the category. 

My point (and yes, sometimes I actually have one) is that buzz words and zippy phrases are fine. But think about the business case first. 

Some of the best value props are not sexy. But at the same time, it's our responsibility to understand what we need it to do... and if we're trying to get customers in a market that belongs to someone else, we don't always have the luxury of being cute or sexy.

Boring can be amazing. Sexy can be ineffective. Embrace your inner nerd. It helps your success rate.

 

360 Marketing - Why you should forget it and focus on the 10 degrees that matter.

"360 marketing is like peeing down your leg. Hot to you but not anyone else."

Every agency I've talked to has a slide that shows their take on 360 marketing. Usually, it's a series of circles that have various social media outlets written on them, pointing at the center, which is meant to represent the customer. 

But here's the dirty secret: 360 Marketing is a waste of time and money. 

I'm not sure where this phenomenon started that got marketers thinking that they had to be everything to everyone, but I'll bet it started with an agency. The "one-stop-shop" (as they all boast to be) can now sell additional services because if you don't buy them, you're missing someone and you won't have true 360 marketing.

Who cares? All 360 marketing does is forces us to do things that don't make sense, that don't have a good ROI and waters down the punch. It's kind of like that girl in highschool that reinvents herself with each boyfriend - she's everything to everyone, but completely lost herself in the process.

Instead of trying to do it all, which you can't (budget, time) do yourself a favor: forget 360 marketing. Focus on the 10 degrees that matter.

You'll get better results, make more of an impact and what you do end up doing will be thought out and most likely executed much more thoughtfully than if you try to boil the ocean.

#callinit

Don't be fooled. Vine is lame.

As if we don't have enough social media options to choose from and make marketers aghast with the ENDLESS POSSIBILITIES OF MAGICAL ENGAGEMENT, twitter introduces Vine. An app that allows you to loop 6 seconds of video to share with your minions of followers.


Seriously? 

Billed as twitter for video, it's essentially a .gif maker without the .gif. The stopwatch is starting now to time how quickly this gets into the heads of marketers who want in on this fun new system.

But let's be real. Twitter at least lets you skim through and find interesting posts. How can you skim video? And what possible content can be relevant to my life that can be told in a 6-second loop. 

Unless you're looking for pictures of people holding hands, puppies playing, and guys getting kicked in the junk, don't waste your time. (And that's not even mentioning the inevitable use of it for sexting - or whatever it would be called on this.)

QR codes are the devil.

When in doubt, refer to this.

Let me guess. Someone in your group just learned from his 9 year old this amazing phenomenon known as QR codes. All you have to do is scan this postage stamp and it'll take you to a web site! Or a picture! Or a message! It's so amazing - it's going to transform everything we do in marketing and we can really give our customers an enhanced experience that will only make them more loyal to our brand.

Come here so I can smack you.

QR codes - in theory - are a good idea. But then again, so is communism. They just don't work. We are in the era of instant gratification and asking someone to download an app to take a picture so they can go to a site is unrealistic. Especially if the genius idea is to send people to a web site. Unless the code is truly taking them to an amazing place with a HUGE carrot (pretty sure the best success of QR codes was a free Lady Gaga song - and even that was so so in success) skip it. Keep in mind how people really behave, not how it'd be so cool because you can track it and theoretically shape their experience.

There is no experience. Because QR codes are stupid.

The Leader Blog

Everytime I get an email touting to be a blog by one of our esteemed leaders of this company, I have to laugh. I picture this leader, poised on a stage, pontificating his or her poignant prose that is sure to be compelling, thoughtful, and powerful life lessons that we can put to use immediately. Lessons they learned in their long journey to their formidable career. After all, we all want to be like them, right? So we should read and aspire to do as they say.

News flash: NO ONE CARES.

Last year I did research that shows that unless the email is from your direct manager, employees don't care. That's right - they just don't give a crap. They throw it away. 

And to make it even more pointless is most of these are written by a communications leader, not the leader him/herself. It's what someone else thinks we should read, which means the opinion we have of our leadership is carefully crafted by someone trained to influence our opinion.

Yesterday I got a leadership blog that called out the guy who wrote it as doing an amazing job. So... in other words, someone wrote a piece for a leader about themselves, encouraging the rest of the company to appreciate and congratulate them for their amazing work. 

You've got to be kidding me. 

Here's the deal: Today's employees and future leaders don't give a shit about your carefully crafted message of inspiration. They care about authenticity. So your 15 tweets in 30 minutes promoting your boss aren't impressing anyone other than maybe that boss, which is a whole different issue.

(I realize the irony in me talking about stupid blogs in the context of a blog, but I'm confident you can follow me on this one. I don't have a communications person writing what I say. Nor am I on the C-level leadership team. So suck it.)

Maybe it's viewed as a perk of the job. Maybe it's narcism. I truly believe the leaders of tomorrow won't tolerate today's standard practice of derived content from their PR team. So let's be real: can the self-serving jibber-jabber and focus on what really matters. #Callinit